Happy Birthday, My Baby Boy!

This is my boy. A pre-teen and a little boy all at the same time.

Sam, Sam-a-lam-a-ding-dong, SammerMan, Shmuli,

Well, today is the day. Eleven years ago today, I gave birth to you, my son. Eleven years ago today, I gave birth for the last time. Ever. Do I sound depressed? I am not. It is just the passage of time tends to make me a little wistful and melancholy.

You are growing into such a kind and loving young man. As I told people yesterday, you arrived exactly on your due date. You came at 12:03 am and it was as if you were saying that you knew exactly when you were supposed to be here. That is so your personality. You take everything literally. There is no gray area with you. You always want to do the right thing. You can’t believe it when people are so blatantly evil to one another. You are a spiritual little guy, too. You always have been. Whenever you thought I was mad at you for one reason or another when you were small, you would go into your room and take your blocks and build me a church, complete with a cross and everything. Then you would call me and proudly say, “Look what I built you, Mommy. I love you!” You love going to Christian rock concerts with the family across the street and more often than not, it is you who reminds us to pray when we sit down to dinner.

All that is not to say that you are perfect and don’t make me pull out my hair sometimes. You are particularly critical of me. I think because out of all the members in the family, we have spent the most time together. Sometimes a criticism from you can dump my day all upside down and then when I retaliate (because you know how to push my buttons), I dump your day upside down, too. I hate that we do this to each other. I hate hurting your feelings and when I do, it just makes me feel terrible. Please remember that I don’t mean the hurtful things I say sometimes. I love you more than you will ever know or believe.

Your sister, Emily, told me the other day that she over heard you talking to a friend on the phone. She said that you were whispering to avoid being overheard, so she knows that you didn’t think she heard you. She said that you said that your oldest sister was the worst sister in the world and really not someone you looked up to, but that your other sister, Emily, was the best sister in the world and you really loved her. How sweet was that. You don’t know how good that made Emily feel. You guys have always had a special bond. It’s like you were meant to be twins, even if you were born three years apart. When you have your birthday dinner that is just supposed to be for you and me and Dad, it almost never fails that you invite Emily to come along. You just want to be with her and be her friend. And I know she values you, too. Even if she is in a weird place in her life right now with hormones and getting ready to start high school and all that. I remember once you asked why she was so crabby and we tried to explain the hormonal thing and you asked, “When does that go away?” You were so cute. You couldn’t wait to have your real sister back. Unfortunately, little man, women sort of have this on and off throughout their lives. Sorry. Your’s and Emily’s relationship will work out the way you want it to though. I know it will. Have faith. I know that comes easy for you.

So the one thing to remember is your Dad and I love you very much. Emily loves you very much and Isabelle, she just thinks her “Uncle Sam” is the best uncle ever! She idolizes you. I wish I could tell you how Ashley feels, but you know that it is a little difficult to tell with her. I am sure she loves us all in her own way, but she just doesn’t know how to say it or show it. I think we just need to be patient with her and hopefully she will come around as well.

Happy birthday, my baby boy! Your Mommy loves you more today then she did 11 years ago when she first met you. No matter where you are in life, you will always be in my heart.

I love you,
Mom